Karen is not alone. A recent survey of 1,000 Hongkongers by Skyscanner found that more than half had travelled with their in-laws. Among that group, more than three quarters (76 per cent) of them had argued with their other half or even their in-laws because of the trip.

The study revealed that the top reasons for these fights were the difference in living and eating habits (26 per cent), followed by different itinerary expectations (23 per cent) and the convenience of visiting planned attractions (17 per cent).

For Karen, the annual holiday with the in-laws became even worse when they had children, and the pressure of trying to keep everyone happy became too much.

“I very rarely drink, but I remember one trip to Europe with his parents and I went to the hotel bar by myself and ordered a glass of wine,” she says. “It was either that or totally lose it with one of them.”

Nikki Green, a Hong Kong-based sexual and marital therapist, and psychotherapist, says that Hong Kong and Asian women are probably better than Western women at travelling with their in-laws because of an ingrained cultural respect for elders, but that does not necessarily mean their husbands will not hear about it later.

Green believes men tend to be better than women at getting on with their in-laws because they are more service oriented and less concerned about emotionality.

“With women there is that real threat with the mother-in-law,” says Green. “There will usually be some power-based problem. The best thing a man can do to have a good relation with his wife and mother is to gently let his mother know that his wife is now his priority.

If this is done tactfully, giving his wife security, then it will form a solid foundation that will enable the family to travel together without conflict.

“If a man wants to have a peaceful life, he needs to do this. A mother is not going to leave her son if you put her number two, but a wife will. You’ve got to train the mother,” says Green.

Karen snorts with laughter at the suggestion, insisting her now ex-husband would never have dared tell his mother that she, his wife, was the priority. But she can see the value in the suggestion and intends to make it part of a prenup deal if she remarries.

Green’s other tips for travelling with in-laws include taking a laid-back approach, lowering the bar for expectations and seeing the holiday as an adventure and being spontaneous, while also planning ahead for emergencies. This might mean having a stash of food for a family member who is gluten intolerant or scheduling special activities for someone who has trouble walking.

“It’s good sometimes to split up and do different things so one person does not feel they are constantly missing out on what they would like to do. If dad is high activity but no one else is, he can go kitesurfing in the morning while the others hang around the pool. Or go sightseeing together in the morning and then have an afternoon where everyone does their own thing,” says Green.

An advantage of travelling with in-laws is that they can act as free babysitters, giving the parents a chance for some time out.

“It’s a good opportunity for the grandparents to bond with the children, they will probably crave that time anyway,” says Green.

It’s not all bad news. Among those Hongkongers surveyed, 31 per cent thought their relationship with their partner actually improved after the holiday, and 61 per cent said there was no long-term impact on their relationship.

To make the most of the trip, Green recommends taking a needs-based rather than a solution-based approach. This means thinking about each individual’s personal needs, whether it be giving them the sense that they are not being bossed about or allowing them some free time at some point during the day.

“If people are putting down loving boundaries in a way that is not hurting another person, then it gives the other people more leeway to learn about each other,” says Green.

This article appeared in the South China Morning Post print edition as: An expert’s guide on how to survive a holiday with your in-laws

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